This is a topic I have been thinking about for some time now. I don’t know if my opinion will be the same for others or it is just unique to myself. I suspect that many people do feel the same and perhaps do not or cannot articulate or express just exactly what they are feeling so I will attempt to express my own humble opinion on the subject. This is in no way a proven right or wrong point it is just MY opinion, feelings and thoughts on the subject. If it helps you I am happy. If it does not, throw it away and move on to the next opinion!
I come to every new person/relationship with an open and willing heart and the intention of friendship. I HOPE that all these other people come with the same intent. Unfortunately, there are people who do NOT. They come with an agenda of their own and many times with less than honourable intentions. Sometimes you just don’t recognize this or them right away.
If you decide to build a relationship with me, “keep me” and continue along a path together-no matter how long or short-I expect you to BE who you say you are. I expect TRUTH from you. I DO expect you to be REAL, RAW, VULNERABLE and TRUE in the way that you deal with me.
It is not always easy to trust someone new and it certainly takes a lot of courage sometimes to CHOOSE to do so.
IF you LIE to me you open our relationship to fear, mistrust, doubt and insecurity. It will always be there in the underneath and no matter how hard I try to get back to that place when I trusted you 100% it is no longer possible.
I MAY choose to continue, I may choose to keep trying and I may get to a place of comfort and care again that seems to work well for both of us but the TRUTH is that you have shown me that you don’t trust me to handle the truth or accept you as you are. OR you have shown me clearly that you just don’t CARE enough about me that it matters to be REAL or TRUE with me. Maybe I am just a notch on your belt, maybe I am just a new game, maybe I am a means to an end (whatever that hidden agenda actually is), or maybe I’m just a way to pass the time. Sooner or later I WILL recognize the TRUTH and do whatever happens to be the best thing for ME at that point including and most especially LEAVING you behind. Yes, the TRUTH can hurt…but it can also be LIBERATING!
What happens when you LIE is that you HURT a person who put their trust in you. You do NOT get to laugh and say “haha got you” because in fact, you have shown YOUR weakness to them…
their weakness and stupidity for believing in YOU!
It is NOT wrong or stupid or weak for a person to bring LOVE, TRUTH and OPENNESS and TRUST to a relationship. It is EVERYTHING!
So if YOU are so weak that you cannot HONOUR them and their willingness to give then YOU have shown the world your TRUTH and it is less than stellar! SO all of you who are willing to love and get damaged and hurt and used and abused by all the liars and takers in the world…REMEMBER who and what you are and KNOW that it is NOT you it is THEM who are faulty!!
THEREFORE, I CHOOSE every day to try and to forgive and to work through the issues at hand for the future and for the relationship that is usually more good than bad UNTIL it becomes more bad than good. In that case it has become toxic for me and it is then time to walk away and preserve my own self and sanity.
A LIE is the biggest and worst thing you can do to destroy us because if you don’t have TRUST then you have nothing at all.
I want to LOVE you inside of a relationship where it is healthy and safe to do so but I WILL not allow you to use or abuse me or belittle the gift of my trust. I deserve better.
EVERYONE deserves better!
TRY to be REAL and TRUE to yourself and everyone else that you deal with because honesty and integrity are irreplaceable things.