She has been an apostle of one man at a time…she has been heartbroken as many times as she has had relationships…now, she has adopted the idea is two men at a time so that when one leaves, one will always be there…she believes the one that loves her will stay and fight for her…now, they labelled her as unfaithful…BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY…Is she wrong in her new approach based on her experience…is she unfaithful???
Oh dear. Stringing two guys (or two girls for that matter) IS unfaithful. It is heartbreaking to be left. It is heartbreaking to end up alone ONCE never mind many times. That it has happened so often either means you may have some issues of your own to address OR simply that NONE of them were the right guy previously. YOU can love someone with your whole heart and soul and they can still be the wrong one for you but, I think you should LOVE with all of you…EVERY time. Be REAL, be YOURSELF, be FAIR and always HOPE for the right one to come. The thing is God will bring him in the right time and that’s never our own timetable because we usually have MANY things to learn FIRST. You have to take care of you first. You have to learn to love you most FIRST and know who you are and what you want and what you don’t want. Unfortunately crushes, wrong lovers and broken hearts are sometimes a part of that journey. 😦 Choosing to play two boys at once is UNFAIR to both of them but also to your own self. Do you really think keeping two on a leash is going to save your heart when they figure it out and the one that you really prefer is the first one to leave? OR that you won’t be hurt doubly when they BOTH leave? You’ve created a double whammy for yourself because men don’t want to share a woman any more than women want to share a man so of course they will be mad and leave when they find out they aren’t the “one and only”….that’s all we all want in the first place…to find someone who is our equal and opposite “one and only”…you CANNOT do that with two separate paths to choose from. ONE of those people is getting the short end of the stick and will NOT be happy about it. Are you really so lost inside yourself and broken-hearted that you believe now you NEED men to fight over you to prove that you are worth it? “The one who loves you will stay and fight for you.” That may be true and would be true whether you have two men or ONE because if he loves you he WILL keep you and do whatever it takes to do so. YOU have to know what you are worth. REGARDLESS of whether or not ANY of those previous guys believed it or knew it or NOT. It isn’t about THEM. It’s about YOU. I know it hurts when they don’t want you. I’ve been unwanted so many times for so many years it was NEVER funny and hurt me SO much. 😦 BUT, I also allowed a lot because I was so messed up inside myself and didn’t like ME very much. When you figure out who you are and what you want and what you DON’T want it is much easier to make choices and not make POOR ones because you will NOT settle for someone just to be with someone. You will not choose someone just because you’re afraid to be alone. When you learn to like yourself you don’t need to fear being alone. You can handle your own company. You can also discern who is and is not a good partner from a place of comfort as opposed to desperation and fear. YOU have to love and respect yourself enough to know when other people are loving and respecting you as well. Settling for less than you deserve always leads to heartbreak and EVERYONE deserves someone to love and be loved by too. Nobody believes it until it happens to them but you have to get right with YOURSELF first and then the right person just shows up when you least expect it. Being alone SUCKS. I know, I was for a long time. However, I would totally rather be alone than with the wrong person EVER again in my life because I DESERVE better than substandard treatment by someone who just uses me as a trophy or for show or status or just to have someone rather than be alone. I want someone who wants me just because i’m ME and I make life better for HIM just because I AM me. Thankfully I have that and it’s the best relationship so far that I could have had or even imagined. AND it did happen like I said. I was miserable and lonely and one day I just decided I didn’t need the torture…I figured out that I DO deserve better and it’s ok to have to wait. I could take the time and put effort and work into myself and being a good mom to my kids…I got OK with ME…and then just a little while after that I met hubby…he was and is everything I ever wanted in another person and it doesn’t mean we’re perfect or always have been, that there weren’t issues or problems to work through, just that we fit together right and BOTH of us have love and respect for each other because we already know who we are and what we want and don’t want before we come together. Waiting is SO worth it. YOU deserve to find that. YOU deserve to have that. Just like I do or anyone else but, you can’t have it when you are playing games with other people’s hearts and feelings and most importantly when you are playing games to protect yourself from the deepest hurts…in order to have the rewards you must take the risks…so quit playing games and be REAL with yourself!! FIX you first…all else will fall into place.