Breaking Question of the Day~11/04/2011

In an accident, he lost his wife and one of his children….leaving him to take care of the other 3 children…five years on he met a lady who promised not only to take care of him but to make his children her children….after the marriage, she has gone back in her latter promise and is treating the children like slaves…the man now is threatening to pull the plug of the marriage….BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY…Why do step mothers find it difficult to treat step children as their own and is the man right in threatening to divorce her???

(Q from: 11/04/2011)

MY response:

I believe that it is difficult to be a step-parent for both men and women. Especially during times when children are testing the limits and boundaries of patience. You can believe that you will love someone else’s children as they are your own and just as MUCH as your own and then be faced with the reality that sometimes blood IS thicker and there are unshakable and unchangeable differences between them and you. Acknowledge this. It is a reality. THEN choose to understand that children are a beautiful, innocent, miracles and whether they ARE your blood or NOT you CAN choose to teach them, guide them, love them, embrace them, support them, encourage them, discipline them, cherish them, be affectionate towards them, trust them, honour them and give them each as much of your faith, hope and love as you would each of your own children BECAUSE…they are children and they NEED someone who is strong enough to choose them regardless of all the difficulties that MAY come because they already come with strikes against them, broken hearts and a world that has been shattered beyond belief. They are broken already and afraid to trust. Be STRONG enough to teach them that they CAN! Be STRONG enough to LOVE them when they feel lost and alone and afraid and that the whole world is against them because they’ve learned sooner than many what LOSS is, what GRIEF is, what being BROKEN feels like. GIVE them a place to be safe and WHOLE, good AND bad without repercussions. CHOOSE to be a MOTHER/FATHER regardless of how they came to be in your life. Yesterday is GONE. CHOOSE to make tomorrow BETTER!! Daddy, DO whatever you NEED to do to make your children feel safe and loved. If that means you can’t work it out with the evil step-mother then so be it. I think that you have to trust your own judgement about whether or not she is doing right by them. There is no excuse to treat them poorly or as “slaves”. Maybe just the threat of your leaving will wake her up to her behaviour not being acceptable and that you WILL put your children FIRST, as you SHOULD! Sometimes parents DON’T put their children’s hearts first and that is damaging for all involved. TRY very hard to work it out because some mother is better than NO mother BUT, remember…NO mother and one father with enough love can be better than a BAD mother. Maybe you were so desperate to keep a happy home for them that you didn’t wait to be VERY sure she was the right fit for all of you. It happens! Do your best to take care of them and yourself and believe that it will work out in the end. Best wishes to all. xo

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