Breaking Question of the Day~10/17/2011

I love my wife…her best friend is professing her love for me…I have so far been handling it well…my problem is each time my wife and I do or discuss anything that is suppose to be between us, she goes telling her best friend and her friend in turn, comes back to tell me…I av been trying to make see and understand that her friend is trying to harm her marriage but she don’t seem to get it…BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY…Should I just go ahead and tell her what her friend is up to or leave her to see for herself??? Anonymous


(Q from: 09/17/2011)

MY response:

Your responsibility is to your WIFE, NOT her friend so of course you should tell her what her friend is doing. You are not DATING you are married…you said WIFE. Unfortunately, best friends DO tell everything to each other about EVERYTHING…you are seeing this first hand but, if you don’t TELL your wife what her friend is doing with the information or maybe ammunition she’s being freely handed then sooner or later she is going to do something that completely blindsides her and then your wife is going to feel hurt and betrayal from not just her but YOU as well. I hope that leaving her to see for herself doesn’t mean an affair is imminent…if you don’t stand up strong and REJECT that woman clearly she’s going to see it as a GREEN light and will do everything and anything to get you for herself. CERTAINLY that is a giant ego boost but, truly if you LOVE your wife then you need to cut it out. Doing nothing or accepting her advances or being wishy washy about them because you DO like the attention IS a green light…because someone who is showing this much disregard and disrespect for her SUPPOSED best friend is a cancerous sore that feeds on the discontent she breeds…I know, I just got rid of one of those MYSELF and if you don’t make it CLEAR that the answer is NO then they don’t stop…in fact, they escalate…probably from the mistaken belief that the “love” is reciprocated and that gives them right to claim territory…maybe they don’t stop anyway…but, who makes advances to a brick wall? She must be getting some sense and vibe that you MIGHT be into it or she’d not even bother. Maybe a nice sweet man does nothing because he doesn’t want to cause friction or fights or damage or hurt and believes that if he ignores it then it will go away…it will NOT. If you do NOT stand up, tell the truth and deal with the situation head on things will get BROKEN. BROKEN things are sometimes unable to be fixed. 😦

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