In the days of our fathers and fathers fathers, there was nothing like White wedding…as soon as the traditional wedding is done and blessings giving to the couples from both parents, the marriage is sealed…those days are/have become history whereby if after your traditional marriage which is now renamed engagement you dont perform the White wedding, it is not seen by the majority as legitimate…BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY…What is the difference between traditional wedding/marriage and White wedding, which is more legitimate and why???
From a biblical perspective a couple is married when they have followed whatever ruling of the government is that dictates legitimate marriage, had a ceremony before witnesses, and consummated the relationship AFTER these other two things are accomplished.
In all society we NEED that blessed piece of paper that proves we are legitimately married in the eyes of God and our peers but, if souls and minds and hearts are not also there it is also just for show.
People get married for many reasons, not all of them the right one.
However, because you come from somewhere different and do things differently than someone and somewhere else does NOT mean you are any less legitimately married.
There is NO absolute rule or law that says you MUST have a $100,000 wedding as your ceremony with ALL the pomp and circumstance. PLEASE!
A ceremony before witnesses CAN be just as simple as the couple, the pastor and two witnesses…one for each of them. Then, you are married! Legally…BINDING…before the law and witnesses. Signed and sealed.
I’ve shared in all manner of weddings here on this side of the world and they are similar but not all exactly the same.
I have also been married twice. The first time I had a wedding with flowers and bridesmaids and he had groomsmen and we rented the tuxes and bought the gown…I wore PINK because I do believe in traditions and I was NOT white worthy lol…the second time I also had the whole shebang though I didn’t need it because my husband wanted it since it was his first and only time to marry 😉 and we thought it would be an experience for my children as well. I wore white that time because hubby wanted to see me in a white dress and because he thought it was silly I hadn’t worn one the first time and I DESERVED to wear one ONCE. So I did. (I wonder now if I might have KNOWN something way back when I wore the pink dress and some part of me refused to give that guy the satisfaction of having a bride in a white dress…who knows really?!) However, I had more than my share of crazy expensive weddings even though they weren’t the ultimate of extravaganzas they were still more than I could really afford! BUT, the second time I did have a little more sense! 😉
I have also witnessed for a couple and they had no guests…they stood before the justice of the peace and said their vows and were witnessed by myself and another man and then they were legally married…and very happy that day really anyways.
I have NOT been privy to the HUGE and ridiculous expense of SOME of the kinds of weddings (read spectacles) that go in in North America BUT, tv is wonderful because they have tonnes of wedding shows whereby you can learn just how crazy some people can really be and just what kind of price tag their insanity has!
I find it unnecessary and sometimes NOT in keeping at all with the seriousness of the commitment before God and family that a couple is supposed to be making. These weddings ARE all about SHOW and LESS about LIFE and LOVE and REALITY.
I am often quite offended by it, but, this is just MY opinion. To each his own!
I do enjoy seeing different ideas in decorating, food choices, cultural ties, blending of families and bi-cultural marriages and I appreciate the efforts many people make to fit two different sets of people into one setting with respect and reverence for both. I believe that is how it always should be.
You really don’t just marry each other…you marry into a whole family a whole package and it is best to try to fit everyone into it in a respectful and open manner.
David tells me a traditional african wedding is a ceremony performed after the man’s family comes and asks for her hand in marriage and both families then gather to bless the union. The man will bring gifts depending on the culture or language of the tribe he is part of and acceptance of this gift signifies great approval. From that day they are recognized as man and wife. (thanks for the explanation David!) 🙂
I don’t see anything wrong with that at all! That sounds perfectly well like a marriage ceremony…just from a different culture… I LIKE it!
Wikipedia tells me white wedding came from Europe. So Americans and Canadians have also been influenced by someone else and incorporated ideas and beliefs from another place and culture into their ceremonies until it somehow became the norm and something EVERYONE feels the need to do.
It isn’t so.
ANY ceremony from any place, tribe, culture or land is sufficient and as equally legally binding providing you are following the law of the land, performing SOME KIND of ceremony before witnesses (from 2 others to 200? more…whatever!), and THEN …..well you know that part! 😉
So it is MY belief neither is MORE legitimate…they are BOTH sufficient!!
There is nothing wrong with seeing something someone else does and liking it and finding a way to fit it into your way of doing things. In this way we create NEW ideas and things that are as unique as we each are! Because we find all the best parts as we see them and create something even more beautiful.
If you want to have your wedding celebration be outrageous…
hey more power to ya!
If you want it to be simple and inside a budget…
that’s also your choice!
If you like it to be traditional because you think you lose something special to all the pomp and circumstance…
then keep your traditions!
If you want to do something right outside the box because you are different and unique and you want your wedding to reflect it…
FOLLOW your own heart!
Whatever makes you happy as a couple (keeping in mind some respect for family members and the law-meaning within REASON) choose it! It IS your day and should be a special remembrance of this choice you made to commit to each other for life!