Breaking Question of the Day~08/17/2011

Some people say live without sex is like tea without sugar…some see it as a reason to go into a relationship…some even say it makes relationships stronger even if it might not lead to marriage…to some, no sex, no love…BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY…Is sex so important in a relationship and is it possible to have a relationship without sex?


SEX…IS a vital and important part of a relationship. If we want to follow biblical rules then it is meant for two people who love each other, commit their life to one another and are MARRIED. However, let’s admit what we all know…few of us actually get to the altar virgins. FLESH is strong. Hubby and I argue often about whether or not God knew what he was doing when he created it. Sometimes we wonder if He ever had any idea just how strong a thing it would BE!

Honestly, flesh is strong but, so is the WILL. So is the mind. So is CHOICE.

We can all choose to succumb to the feeling of flesh and the weakness. We can call it passion,lust, love, desire, insanity or many other terms but, it all amounts to the same…WEAKNESS of WILL.

If you know something is RIGHT or WRONG according to God’s word or even just according to society’s rules and you choose to disregard it in the moment of passion that does NOT change at ALL whether it is still right or not.

I do NOT profess to be innocent of this even myself. I wasn’t a virgin when I married…either time. Also, I have given in at other times and I am as guilty of that sin as any other before me and also coming after me. That’s not for other people to judge. THAT is between me and my GOD.

I am unlike MANY people because I don’t NEED sex like they do. I do NOT eat, sleep, breath, dream, live SEX, SEX, SEX and I sure know many who do! Sometimes I think I’m abnormal because I’m not the same but, I’ve lived through my life and I am aware there have been times through out it when I wasn’t so different either. I think there are MANY factors that go into a person’s sexuality and there really isn’t just one right or wrong answer for anyone. The thing is that when you are in a relationship with someone else you just have to find a way to be equal to and compatible with each other because if you are not then you’re going to get a crash course in how important sex can become to a steady long-term relationship! Especially when it is NOT equal.

Is sex a reason to begin a relationship? Apparently it is because this happens every day but, I think when it plays itself out you often end up with two people who don’t have anything in common besides sex, don’t want the same things, and sometimes don’t really even like each other!

Does it make a relationship stronger? Perhaps it does. A sexual relationship is an intimate relationship though I KNOW some people have sex without ever feeling how it feels when hearts and souls are also connected. THOSE connections are what make relationships stronger.

Is it possible to have a relationship without sex?

Maybe if you are OLD. lol 😦 (sorry old people-I meant like over 100)

Maybe if you are sick.

Maybe if it is impossible for one of you for some other reason.

EACH of these answers requires that you have a spouse that cares more about you than his/her physical urges. For MANY I think that is impossible. For some I think it is difficult but, can be done. For maybe even a more rare amount it is no problem at all because LOVE, commitment, BETTER OR WORSE, SICKNESS AND HEALTH, respect, compassion and understanding MEAN something. MAYBE, mean everything.

HOWEVER, there ARE lots of different ways to have a sexual relationship without the actual intercourse part of it and while that IS important it is MORE important to know that you and your partner CAN love, respect, honour and cherish each other in MANY other ways!

Love and marriage in the long-term is full of ebbs and flows. Maybe if you have spent so many years in an up-swell, when the down time comes it becomes very hard to endure.

SEX, IS a very important part but, it is not everything!

Can you find other common areas?

Can you find other ways to show affection and love?

Can you communicate well?

Can you enjoy time doing other things?

Can you find some compromise that may not be perfect or the ideal situation but, can be better than nothing at all?

Life doesn’t come with a rule book and sometimes during the course of a relationship things happen that create less than wonderful situations and feelings and problems. If you can be “two against the world” and communicate and work together you can still have a deep,meaningful, loving relationship that WORKS for both of you. EVEN without SEX!!

Though trust me, I understand how frustrating, depressing and disheartening the idea of that reality can be! 😦

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