Breaking Question of the Day~05/05/2011

It is every womans dream to concieve and give birth…there are some pregnancies that are considered an embarrasement and should be terminated…she was raped by and armed robber and got pregnant…she went to abort it and was told by the doctors that she might never concieve again if she aborts the pregnancy….BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY….What should she do???


First I have to say, I ABSOLUTELY disagree with abortion.

I could have been one. My mother had some issues when she was pregnant with me and they told her she should abort me for her own safety. She risked her own life to carry me full term and give me MINE. So even when life is dark and difficult and I may feel like giving up, underneath it all I think, “How could I just give up when she loved me so much that she risked her own well-being for me?” I keep going. AND I feel VERY strongly anti-abortion.

Second I have to say, I have friends who have had abortions.

I cannot judge them. It is not my place. It is only God’s place to judge and many people from many walks of life believe many different things so it becomes very difficult to have an ABSOLUTE answer for anyone about any aspect of it. I STILL do not agree that abortion was an appropriate answer but it wasn’t my decision or my life.

ONLY the woman in question can answer the question based on what she can live with. Each individual woman will have her own issues and reasons and belief systems to consider.

There are a variety of reasons a woman will choose abortion. One of them is simply an unwanted pregnancy at a time she feels she isn’t ready to deal with it. I had a friend long ago who frequently engaged in unprotected sex. She didn’t use any birth control at all! When we asked her, “What if you get pregnant? You’re not ready to have a baby!” she would just reply, “Then I’ll have an abortion.” Like this is just some simple option!! I am STILL awestruck by the sheer callousness of this response. Where IS the respect for human life? Where is the responsibility?

Another reason a woman may choose to abort the pregnancy is that she IS too young to care for a child and still financially unstable.

Some women would choose to abort because the man has left the picture and they are afraid they are incapable of raising a child ALONE.

Still other women choose to abort because they were in the middle of an affair with a married man and the baby would upset the apple cart!

Maybe another aspect is that she has become pregnant with someone who has a family history of mental disease and she fears for the child.

Another reason is that she is so young she doesn’t want anyone to be aware she is pregnant or even that she has been having sex at all.

OR on the other hand has been pressured by her parents because they fear how difficult her life will now be if she tries to raise a child and maybe cannot get a proper education OR they know she is not responsible enough and don’t want to end up responsible for the child themselves.

Then there are serious issues to consider like severe birth defects, medical issues in both the case of the baby or the mother, or pregnancy as a result of rape or incest.

Having said ALL that, NOW I will say what I would consider.

THIS is MY thinking.

I would absolutely NOT consider abortion whatsoever. No matter what.

When I was pregnant with my oldest son, it was actually suggested to me that I should have one then because I was young, because I wasn’t ready or prepared, because my ex was WAY not ready to father a child. I would NOT even consider it.

For the record, I raised two babies ALONE…even while I was with him because as a care giver he was USELESS. I did all the work. However, they were six months old and a year and a half old when I left him so then I raised two BABIES by myself. I don’t mind telling you that it was probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life to this point. I am grateful in fact for my mother because without her I don’t think I would have found the strength I needed to keep on going. (ty mom xo)

Now, when I was pregnant you had a choice about whether or not you could have medical tests to determine genetics and/or defects affecting the baby.  I don’t know if that’s still true or if they make you do this test now but, I chose NOT to have it. It would not have affected my decision to carry the baby or keep it in the least. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe if you are pregnant then it is something God created in your life as an opportunity for growth, understanding, learning all kinds of lessons, catalyst for change, wake up call, means to enrich your life, your heart, your soul. Instead of running from it, or deleting it, you should embrace it and take the journey. You never know where you will end up but, I’m pretty sure in the end you will find it has NOT been as bad as you initially expected but, rather an AMAZING journey full of beauty and joy and so many other rewards…even in the middle of the trials and tribulations! Babies are miracles from God and they are worth LIFE!

Even IF I was pregnant from a rape or from incest I would choose to give the child LIFE…not TAKE it. Adoption is an option if you CANNOT put aside the evil and love the child regardless. The baby didn’t ask for it…he/she is innocent. Yes, I know that there are aspects that would be hard to forget or let go of from those stories and perhaps looking at the child as he/she grows up there may be many reminders of it but, you could also look at it as an opportunity and a testament to LOVE, FORGIVENESS, LETTING GO, HEALING.

If you abort the child OR give them up for adoption how would you ever realize your own capacity for these things?

I WAS young. I WAS financially unstable…hell, I still am that! I WAS raising babies ALONE. I WAS a high school graduate ONLY. I have no “higher” education. I WAS and AM responsible. I WAS AFRAID. I chose to have a BABY instead of go to college!! Which thing to you would be more scary? I embraced motherhood. It’s all I ever really wanted.

I do not profess in the least to be a perfect mother. Far from it!

I do admit throughout large portions of my life and those of my children I was scarred, damaged and incapable of caring properly for them because I had not yet even figured out how to care properly for myself. I mean this in emotional and mental aspects…I never had any problem caring for them physically…bathing, feeding, dressing, cutting their hair, taking care of them if they were sick, making lunches etc. ALL the things a nurturing mother does. But, like so many other families before me and I know many more to come after, somehow we managed to find our way through it. With love for each other, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, communication and many of the other things that are required to make relationships work.

NO family is perfect or without some bit of dysfunction to it.

I LOVE each of my children. So much more than they will ever imagine until they have children of their own. Someday I hope they WILL truly understand the great number of things I have CHOSEN to give up for them and will appreciate that but, I don’t really need them to. I do NOT regret my decision to have them, keep them, or any other thing I have had to do to raise them, feed, them, clothe them, encourage them, support them, be available to them.

Sometimes I DO regret the flaws in me and damage that kept me from being a BETTER mother but, I KNOW I could not LOVE them any more than I already do and I did the best I could do with who I was at the time. I still do.

I think that’s all any of us can do.

Having said ALL of that, I have one more thing to say.

I cannot judge. IF I had a friend that was pregnant and opted to have an abortion NO MATTER how I myself feel individually about this I would be her friend. I would stand beside her throughout the whole process and be the support she needed me to be. I would HATE…ABHOR every moment of it really but, I would have to be there with her. Because she is my FRIEND. Because I have committed to being there through good and bad, happy and sad…whatever life brings to us.

THAT is just who I am.

But, in my deepest heart of hearts…I wish…YOU, whoever you are, wherever you are, in making this decision…will choose to embrace the journey.



3 thoughts on “Breaking Question of the Day~05/05/2011

  1. David says:

    Your thinking is very beautiful. It is in considering others before we think of ourselves that we grow in holiness.
    I recently wrote a blog about praying for the soul of Osama bin Laden. I understand how people feel, and don’t condemn them for what they do (even Jesus did not condemn those who nailed him to the cross, both literally or physically), but I can legitimately and strongly disagree with them. The same is true in abortion. I would understand how a rape victim feels and pray for them to make the right decision. But I would always encourage a woman to have the child, to think of the child first. In fact, marriage is, ultimately for the benefit of children first, adults second. At any rate, I applaud you for your attitude.

  2. Thank you for a great post.

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