Breaking Question of the Day~03/02/2011

The man they say is the head of the family and has the responsibility(ies) to provide to the best of his ability for his family need(s) and the woman is said to be his help mate…BREAKING QUESTION OF THE DAY..Should the man be the only one providing for the needs of the family..what should be the responsibility of his help mate?


First of all, what is a help mate?

A help mate is a helper or companion, a counterpart, or one of a matched pair, especially a spouse who gives or provides what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need.  They contribute strength to a situation or render assistance wherever it is needed.

A man and a woman should be in an equal partnership in their marriage and family.  They should be united together through everything and anything.

Sometimes a family is not the normal, conventional kind for whatever reason and the man is not the big bread winner in the family.  This is fine as long as both partners negotiate their place in the family and their jobs and expectations.  It does NOT make him less of a man, nor does it take away his place as head of the family.  It only means for whatever the reason, he has given up the role of bread winner because it is better for them as a whole.

Sometimes she is unhealthy and unable to do as much as normal people and because he loves her he does MORE than just bring home the money.  He also helps with house chores and home life.  She can still find ways to contribute and be his help mate but, maybe just not in physical ways.

Sometimes he works and she takes care of the house in those very seemingly antiquated old-fashioned conventional ideas of family life.  If they are happy with this arrangement it is good for them. 🙂

Sometimes they both work and both share the house chores as well.

Whatever way that a pair work out their family life and marriage as long as it works for both of them and both are happy, fulfilled and content in the arrangement then it is good.

There are many aspects that fit into a full, healthy, working marriage and quite frequently part of making it work IS to throw out any of the ideas and expectations that aren’t working or don’t fit and just try something new!

The important part is that BOTH are loved, accepted, understood, appreciated, fulfilled and HAPPY.  HOWEVER it works.

I BELIEVE in old-fashioned ideas.  My man is the head of my home.  I don’t make decisions that are pertinent to our home and family without discussing them with him first.  We share everything.  Sometimes he says NO.  Sometimes I WANT that.  I want him to be the man, the solid one, the rock, the one who shoulders the hard decisions.  Sometimes (when I am RIGHT) I find my way AROUND that NO.  I find the way to turn it into a YES.  You have to be capable of giving when you realize something is VERY important to the other. Even sometimes, if YOU think it is SILLY!

Sometimes even he goes off the deep end and I have to be the one to say NO.  It is part of recognizing and knowing the parts that are good or better for each other and being the one to step up.

Life is a journey that marriage is a big part of and we each have our own part to play in it EVEN if to the outside world our relationship seems unconventional. If it works for us then it is good.

It is ALL good. 🙂

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